Ren-OH MY GOODNESS-vations

First we buy it, then we destroy it. This is a look at our great room once the old carpet was ripped out and tile demolished.

To forever document the condition of our pool - formerly known as the swamp - here are some photos to remember the filfth, green sludge, West Nile hazard, and mosquito-eating fish.

So far we've (with a little help from many contractors) pulled up icky carpet, yanked out disgusting appliances, removed old tile, weeded & trimmed the yard, drained and acid washed the pool, repaired drywall, painted several rooms, fixed a broken patio door and a broken garage door, removed the master bathroom vanity, and wondered WHATINTHEHELL were we thinking.

Tasks remain include a fence for the pool, grouting and sealing the new tile, cleaning the remaining carpets, finding a new bathroom vanity, installing a toilet, laying pavers for the hot tub, installing pet doors, replacing the appliances and getting all of our stuff moved in.

Since the savings account is dwindling quickly, I'll just pretend that my fixtures aren't brass, the ceiling fans aren't hideous, my countertops aren't warped, the cabinets aren't oak, and someone else is not enjoying all the hard work we put into our old house.

It's not worth it

I know nothing about David Kellermann, former acting CFO at Freddie Mac, but my eyes welled up with tears when I heard about his suicide. He was the same age as Hubby. He left behind a daughter just a little older than Boo. Sounds like he worked his ass off night and day under incredible pressure piled on by himself and his lifestyle, the needs of a company that (like most) suck the best of them dry before tossing the carcass aside. And let's not forget our ginormous Government with their hands in everything these days, while their heads remain up firmly stuck up their asses.

In my HR days, I spent a lot of time encouraging people to focus on what matters most in life, to do their best at work but not let it take over their well-being; get themselves in a position to feel good about what they're doing so they can take that feeling home with them at the end of the day. If it was killing them inside - move on. Find a greener pasture. Sell the BMW and flip burgers for a while. In my HR days, I rarely practiced what I preached - although my pep talks sounded good. On a much lesser scale, I gave and gave and gave to a company that lost its soul when a new CEO stepped in, only to be handed a pink slip for my efforts. Life's a bitch - but then you have to put it in perspective or it will eat you alive.

But suicide? Come on, dude... pop a Prozac, find a shrink, quit that godforsaken-killing-your-soul-one-second-at-a-time job. Freddie Mac would've thrown you under the bus in a heart beat. Instead, you pink slipped your life, your wife, your own child. It's so tragic. Yet so completely lame and irreversable.

Rest in peace. It totally was not worth it.

Exploring AZ...

This weekend we visited Cave Creek and Carefree, AZ. We saw lots of kitchy western stuff and took a few pics to document the occasion.

The closing on our house was supposed to be this Monday. We are now "delayed" because apparently written AND verbal confirmation of new unemployment isn't enough to satisfy an underwriter. Our new close date is - WHO THE HELL KNOWS. I thought Obama the Great was supposed to make it easier for qualified buyers to get into homes. Not so much. For cripes sake, don't they know we're living with my parents??? 'Nough said.

Easter Sunday at 5000 feet

The elevation is making me SO thirsty and SOOOOOOOOO sleepy. But it doesn't slow Boo down one bit. Here are some pictures of our Easter celebration at the home of a dear family friend. Boo had fun playing with the two other girls, one of whom was just a week younger than her. Our host delighted the girls with an Easter pinata. Genius.

Back home again...

I never imagined I would go quite this long between posts. In my defense, finding the perfect family to rent our house, packing up our belongings & getting them ready for the movers, driving two cars, one kid, three cats & a dog across the country, moving in temporarily with one's parents, house hunting, starting a new job, and going into escrow is all rather time consuming. It's been whirlwind.

Leaving the Midwest was bittersweet. In my final few minutes in our house, I sat in Boo's bedroom and cried. I remember the day Hubby painted her nursery a beautiful shade of lavender while I sat on the floor and watched him. Painstakingly, we decorated that room for our princess. I forgot to take a picture before I packed everything up. The little girl who moved into Boo's room a few weeks later had her parents paint it pink.

It was tough watching Boo go through all the emotions associated with this move. I'm not sure she fully understood, but she knew enough to feel excited, sad, and nervous. As our date to leave came closer to fruition, Giggles started acting out at home. She knew her best friend was leaving and going somewhere "so hot that the sun catches houses on fire".

On Boo's last day at school, I couldn't bear to go. I knew that I would cry in front of her teachers - the women who had loved her and cared for her when I couldn't be there to do it myself. How does a mom find the words to thank the people who taught her daughter lessons about love, life, kindness, and God? At some point in time I will send them a letter because I'm sure they have no idea how blessed I feel that they were such a huge part of Boo's life. The funny thing is, she probably won't remember any of them, but they, like Hubby and me, will always be a part of who she is.

Boo's godparents... gosh... It wasn't good-bye. I know it was "see you soon", but Boo lit up their lives and they hers. And Hubby's parents - wow. When we pulled out of their driveway on the morning we started our cross country drive, I had never seen them cry like that. I felt my heart break for my mother-in-law. Hubby is her only child. Boo is her only grandchild.

So here I sit now in my old childhood bedroom; my piles of "stuff" grating on my mother's nerves. My mother's "a place for everything" mentality grating my nerves... My dog banished to a friend's house until we move into our new place... My husband not knowing how to handle life without a DVR...

Well, we did it. We made it happen.

Life is funny. About eight years ago I sat in the empty bedroom of my first house purchased as a single woman in Phoenix one last time. Hubby wasn't my hubby back then. There was no Boo. I sat in that room and cried as the memories crashed in on me, and then I moved across the country to start a new life. This was the longest, most adventurous round-trip of my whole life.

I love Arizona. I'm so happy to live here once again. I'll be happier when we're in our own house, and Hubby has found a good job, too. And I've learned that you can't go home again - to your parents' house that is, for very long, without driving each other a little bit insane - one snide comment at a time.

Thanks to Mom & Dad for putting up with the chaos. We should close on the first house we put an offer on (in my last post) early next week.