What keeps me up at night.

"The state of the economy has delivered a tough blow to 'Main Street'." Thank you, politicians, because I haven't been keeping up on the falling Dow, lost jobs, lost homes, lost dreams. It's not like I haven't noticed that Hubby and I both LOST OUR JOBS right around the time I'd finally convinced him after years of pleading to have #2. Shut up already, politicians & talking heads. Does anyone honestly think either one of these guys can fix this???

The WHAT IF scenarios chill me to the bone. We're cutting spending, battening down, and hoping we can weather this crisis on my contract gig until more jobs are available. It's like everything we worked so hard to achieve over the last several years in our careers has been taken away. Not because we did anything wrong, not because we deserved it... it just happened. It very much reinforces that old saying of "no one ever said life was fair".

So now what? Hubby could watch the news and this train wreck in the making 24/7 were it not for his need to sleep. Me, I can hardly stand to watch the local news, much less the national news, and these shows on CNN and FOX that almost seem to delight in the fact that the economy is so crappy they have something to talk about - incessantly. It hits way too close to my home. It makes me sick with worry. I wonder WHY this happened to both of us, WHEN things will turn around, WHAT is the next step in our careers and how far will it set us back, and WHAT IF we can't even find crummy jobs. WHAT IF this doesn't get better?

And then I look around my house at all the things, stuff, creature comforts we've accumulated over our six year marriage. There is so much we could have done without that would be money in the bank right now. (Excluding my counter tops, of course!) If nothing else, I hope this teaches us a lesson not to indulge just because we can because it's scary how quickly things can change and how high the stakes are with Boo in our lives. I can't even think about the cost of a second child. Sorry, Boo, it might just be the three of us forever. You'll may never have a sibling to fight with, defend to the death, or use to gang up on Mom & Dad.

Laid off does not equal bliss anymore. Laid off equals uncertainty, fear, sorrow, guilt and lost dreams.